!!BREAKING!!
Turkeys have been reported going missing all over the North of England. We are yet to understand how these seemingly flightless birds have been able to dissapear so gracefully and without a trace 🦃
Locals have reported waking up to greet their long standing spirit animal / familiar / confidant and found them missing / kidnapped 🥷
This is disconcerting to say the least but more worrying is the positive outlook these locals seem to have developed after losing their beloved companions 🤗 Our polls show they have record levels of smugness 😏
This bizarre shift in emotions is raising conspiracy theories all over the internet that they, themselves may have something to do with the mass disappearances 🧐
We’ll keep you updated as we learn more 🫡
If you have any information, or indeed if you have been affected by the contents of today’s report, or feel your own bird is at risk, please get in touch anonymously and we will put you through to our dedicated expert helpline ☎️01313814757☎️
#turkeysmissing #yorkshireskincentre #drrajthethi #yscsignaturelift #breakingnews
